We all go through phases in life where we settle for the chaos and monotony because we either accept our fate or feel selfish investing in ourselves (or both!). We may feel too busy to add one more thing to our plate at work to further our learning and value. We may feel guilty about diverting our time at home away from our family priorities to improve our mental and physical health, appearance, personal brand, or pursue passion projects.
My story is no different than most others. I am a busy mom of three, working to build two businesses while taking care of the house, trying to be a good partner to my husband, and struggling with the pressures and stress that come with midlife. Throw a healthy dose of anxiety on top of that, and you get a classic case of adulting in your 40s. Even my dog has me trained to be responsive to her every whim! I often feel worn down and accept lower standards for myself: messy house, scattered brain, irregular workout schedule, disorganized work priorities, and the default baseball-hat-with-hoodie-and-leggings-look. (To be clear, the latter is my faaavorite, so that will never not be a part of my wardrobe…especially if you add in a cozy pair of slippers!)
So, what are you to do when your life is on cruise control to nowhere, and your inner goal-getter is riding shotgun with a massive look of disappointment? It’s time to call for reinforcements.
The first step to assembling your dream team for personal growth and support is to know how you want to grow and improve and what kind of support you need. Here’s a list of questions to help you:
- What do you think about often that sparks the fire in your gut but that you don’t make time for?
- What areas of your physical and mental health need attention and improvement?
- What is causing you to feel heavy? What’s your baggage, and who needs to help you unpack it?
- When you think about your goals and dreams, what are your blind spots? What resources, education, and support do you need to begin making progress?
- When you imagine your life, what’s in the gap between where you think you are today and where you want to be? Who do you want to be? And why is there a gap?
- If money were not a factor, who would you recruit to support you and why?
- How open are you to getting help at this point in your life? Are you ready or motivated to make any changes?
Now that you’ve done a bit of self-reflection let’s look at the potential options for the motivating-magic-makers who can take the wheel and co-navigate with you on the road of life. If you look at this list and immediately think of indulgence, take a moment to flip your mindset to a place of personal investment for advancement. No goal, no matter how big or seemingly small, is achieved without some form of investment!
- Career Coach
- Executive/Leadership Coach
- Business Coach
- Resume Writer
- Personal Branding Coach
- Life Coach
- Personal Stylist
- Hair Stylist
- Make-up Artist
- Nail Technician
- Masseuse and/or Stretching Expert
- Personal Trainer/Fitness Expert
- Nutritionist and/or Weight Loss Coach
- Wellness Coach
- Professional Organizer
- Mother’s/Father’s Helper
- Other Niche Coaches (Divorce Coach, Grief Coach, Relationship Coach, etc.)
Ok. So you’re all excited about the possibility of having “people,” but you are looking at me side-eyed right now because who the heck can invest in all of these services?? Let’s talk about the how. Personal growth and development is a process, not an overnight event. Furthermore, it’s not something to be done all at once, as change can be challenging and require more mental capital than you can ever anticipate.
Choose one or two resources to help you get out of the gates mentally and emotionally. Prioritize the area of your life that you are most excited or motivated to improve. Receiving support and making progress in this area will boost morale and confidence, which sets the wheels in motion for further improvement, followed by ultimately layering in another expert resource for another area of your life.
For example, when I was working to get unstuck after my divorce, I switched up my hairstyle with the help of my stylist, met with an aesthetician to learn more about caring for my aging skin, and embarked on a journey with a therapist. I then layered in meetings with a weight loss coach and sessions with a physical therapist to help my body feel better after years of carrying around so much heaviness—literally and figuratively. I now have replaced some of these services in my budget with coaching for my businesses, which is where I want to be regarding my personal growth and goal investments. (Pro tip: Find people in your network who have the expertise that you are seeking, offer them a service of your own, and trade hours helping one another in place of paying each other.) After some deep work healing and improving my mental and physical health, I am now ready for growth through expanding my knowledge and challenging my brain in other ways. This entire process has positioned me for success in regaining my drive and achieving my goals.
Your journey is your own, but you don’t have to do it alone. When it comes to our life’s goals and finding our passion (again), it is worth seeing expert resources who can help you make meaningful changes and point you in the right direction. So, open up a journal, start exploring the questions above, and, when ready, begin assembling your dream team. You’re worth the investment.
All my best and more,
Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash